You Know What Time It Is
It's time for the Low-brow/High-brow links of the day. Where I hand out links that can appeal to everyone from the editor of the The New Yorker to the President of the United States.
High Brow Link of the Day: Jackson Pollack emulator.
Who's Jackson Pollack you say? Well lemme tell ya... you know what, maybe you should just check out link #2.
Low Brow Link of the Day: Hitler Cats!
Both links stolened from Her Dooceness. End Transmission.
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Monday, June 12, 2006
Jackhole Concert Warp-up
OK, I would have posted sooner but my brain has been recompiling since the MC Frontalot concert a couple of weeks ago. Also, I'm a lazy piece of shit.
The concert was unconditionally superb. It was a bit of a haul from Detoilet to Kalamzoo but not something I wouldn't do again in a heart beat... on a work night... before a big presentation... on which rode a major promotion. This was the tour's last stop so the last chance, before PAX, to see the Front bust rhymes in living color. I've been listening to the Front for several years now. I was first enamored of him when I heard "Braggadogio" and the proverbial deal was cliched when I mine ears did hear "Yellow Lasers." Any rapper who can combine so many Star Wars cliches and golden showers is worthy of my praise. In thanks to the MC for such a stellar show we purchased a number of items and politely asked him to write his name on one such item, which he graciously obliged.
The concert is too far gone for me to remember the set in total but I can at least remember the show highlights: "Crime Spree" was most excellently rendered. The aforementioned "Braggadogio" was part of the all-too-short encore set. If my old man memory serves its function he opened with "Indier Than Thou". Definitely a high point in the evening was the Roll-A-Song in which the crowd cheered for their choice between two songs and the losing song had to make a Saving Throw. Very clever indeed. The bar itself was kindof a hole in the wall that appeared to be more accustomed to hard rock and hip hop acts. I'm sure they were all thrilled with the crowd that evening. Unfortunately the show was sparsely attended. I didn't do a full head count, but the fact that I could have gives you some idea as to how few people were there. It was on a Wednesday night and probably close to finals for a lot of the college students in town. Not that any of that is an excuse, if they really cared they'd have been there.
So in conclusion, I'm very much looking forward to seeing Front on his next concertizing endeavor. Next on the list is mc chris.
-Kroy has gone offline
me here talk good?
OK, I would have posted sooner but my brain has been recompiling since the MC Frontalot concert a couple of weeks ago. Also, I'm a lazy piece of shit.
The concert was unconditionally superb. It was a bit of a haul from Detoilet to Kalamzoo but not something I wouldn't do again in a heart beat... on a work night... before a big presentation... on which rode a major promotion. This was the tour's last stop so the last chance, before PAX, to see the Front bust rhymes in living color. I've been listening to the Front for several years now. I was first enamored of him when I heard "Braggadogio" and the proverbial deal was cliched when I mine ears did hear "Yellow Lasers." Any rapper who can combine so many Star Wars cliches and golden showers is worthy of my praise. In thanks to the MC for such a stellar show we purchased a number of items and politely asked him to write his name on one such item, which he graciously obliged.
The concert is too far gone for me to remember the set in total but I can at least remember the show highlights: "Crime Spree" was most excellently rendered. The aforementioned "Braggadogio" was part of the all-too-short encore set. If my old man memory serves its function he opened with "Indier Than Thou". Definitely a high point in the evening was the Roll-A-Song in which the crowd cheered for their choice between two songs and the losing song had to make a Saving Throw. Very clever indeed. The bar itself was kindof a hole in the wall that appeared to be more accustomed to hard rock and hip hop acts. I'm sure they were all thrilled with the crowd that evening. Unfortunately the show was sparsely attended. I didn't do a full head count, but the fact that I could have gives you some idea as to how few people were there. It was on a Wednesday night and probably close to finals for a lot of the college students in town. Not that any of that is an excuse, if they really cared they'd have been there.
So in conclusion, I'm very much looking forward to seeing Front on his next concertizing endeavor. Next on the list is mc chris.
-Kroy has gone offline
me here talk good?
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
This is a Public Service Announcement:
For all you new, soon-to-be, or prospective brides out there. Don't leave the duty of writing thank you cards in the hands of your new husband:
Consider yourself warned.
For all you new, soon-to-be, or prospective brides out there. Don't leave the duty of writing thank you cards in the hands of your new husband:
"Thank you dearly for the gift of the hand towels. Never again will the evils of over rambunctious moisture rear its ugly head in our lavatory. We owe you much."
"You people are like the British Royals with your intermarrying. What's up with that?"
"Thanks for coming to our reception... Jason. Where were the rest of you? Oh right, there was some other thing happening in some other place. Well, we totally understand. It's fine that you love those people more than us."
Consider yourself warned.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
The Carnivore's Trek thru Charleston
While eating our way through Charleston, SC, we got a chance to savor some of the finest foods with a face known to this island Earth. Observe:
Cows.
Chickens. Lots of chickens.
Crab.
Shrimp.
Salmon.
Flounder.
Lobster.
Lamb.
Alligator.
Baby.
To quote a famous sage, "Why do we eat meat? Because meat tastes like Murder and murder tastes pretty fuckin' good."
-Kroy has gone offline
boy, lemme tell ya what
While eating our way through Charleston, SC, we got a chance to savor some of the finest foods with a face known to this island Earth. Observe:
Cows.
Chickens. Lots of chickens.
Crab.
Shrimp.
Salmon.
Flounder.
Lobster.
Lamb.
Alligator.
Baby.
To quote a famous sage, "Why do we eat meat? Because meat tastes like Murder and murder tastes pretty fuckin' good."
-Kroy has gone offline
boy, lemme tell ya what
Monday, May 08, 2006
Friday, April 28, 2006
To Rebecca on Our Wedding Day
Today we marry. It's hard to believe that we've been dating for a year and half. Time is strange. On the one hand it feels like we just met a few weeks ago. On the other, it feels as though I've known you all my life. I think that's one of the things that has always amazed me (and continues to do so). It was almost as if there was no 'getting to know you' phase of our relationship. The information exchange that happened was largely a formality, something that people do when they meet a new person, but not strictly necessary in our case. Whenever you would tell me you liked a certain food or a certain band it was more confirming what I already suspected than discovering new things about you. Wierd huh.
Sometimes we say things to each other like, "you're the best thing that's ever happened to me." In fact we do so to a degree that through frequency it starts to lose its potency. Let me just say, for the record that it's as true for me as it was the first time I said it. You are, unconditionally, the sweetest, most forgiving, most decent person I have ever met. I count myself lucky beyond measure that I was even able to meet you. To know that I get to spend my life with you is more than my tiny mind can process.
It was odd preparing for this day, in so many ways I've considered us "married" since before I even moved to Michigan. Before we ever even brought it up in discussion, I already knew that I had found something remarkable and had best play my cards right. I knew from the start that I was the lucky one. So much so, that when we finally did get engaged that it hardly felt like news (to such a degree that I neglected to inform one of my closest friends, sorry Jami). But, by definition, news is 'new', and this wasn't new. This was something I had known for a long time. Something that feels, even now, like it was written and decided well before we ever even knew each other's names. I've never been much of a disciple to Destiny or Fate but the events of the past few months have made a fairly strong case for it.
In addition to being all the things I mentioned above, you are good for me. If I hadn't met you, I'm certain beyond doubt that I'd still be in Boston working at a dead end temp position with nothing musical going for or around me. I'd also be hating every second of it. I most certainly would not be teaching music. You have given me a gift I had pretty much lost somewhere, a confidence in my abilities as a musician. As if all the other things you've done and do for me weren't enough, I could never repay that in a thousand lives of fervant toil. Thank you.
So today we make known to the world, the federal government, and to our God the thing that I've known for a very long time, perhaps longer than I even realize. You are my wife.
Love always,
Kroy
I will write you a song
Today we marry. It's hard to believe that we've been dating for a year and half. Time is strange. On the one hand it feels like we just met a few weeks ago. On the other, it feels as though I've known you all my life. I think that's one of the things that has always amazed me (and continues to do so). It was almost as if there was no 'getting to know you' phase of our relationship. The information exchange that happened was largely a formality, something that people do when they meet a new person, but not strictly necessary in our case. Whenever you would tell me you liked a certain food or a certain band it was more confirming what I already suspected than discovering new things about you. Wierd huh.
Sometimes we say things to each other like, "you're the best thing that's ever happened to me." In fact we do so to a degree that through frequency it starts to lose its potency. Let me just say, for the record that it's as true for me as it was the first time I said it. You are, unconditionally, the sweetest, most forgiving, most decent person I have ever met. I count myself lucky beyond measure that I was even able to meet you. To know that I get to spend my life with you is more than my tiny mind can process.
It was odd preparing for this day, in so many ways I've considered us "married" since before I even moved to Michigan. Before we ever even brought it up in discussion, I already knew that I had found something remarkable and had best play my cards right. I knew from the start that I was the lucky one. So much so, that when we finally did get engaged that it hardly felt like news (to such a degree that I neglected to inform one of my closest friends, sorry Jami). But, by definition, news is 'new', and this wasn't new. This was something I had known for a long time. Something that feels, even now, like it was written and decided well before we ever even knew each other's names. I've never been much of a disciple to Destiny or Fate but the events of the past few months have made a fairly strong case for it.
In addition to being all the things I mentioned above, you are good for me. If I hadn't met you, I'm certain beyond doubt that I'd still be in Boston working at a dead end temp position with nothing musical going for or around me. I'd also be hating every second of it. I most certainly would not be teaching music. You have given me a gift I had pretty much lost somewhere, a confidence in my abilities as a musician. As if all the other things you've done and do for me weren't enough, I could never repay that in a thousand lives of fervant toil. Thank you.
So today we make known to the world, the federal government, and to our God the thing that I've known for a very long time, perhaps longer than I even realize. You are my wife.
Love always,
Kroy
I will write you a song
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
For Your Convenience
I have aquired and implemented a new invention I am thinking of calling Electronic Mail whereby you may send Hate mail, pipebombs, boiled rabbits, and other festive gifts via the World Wide Web. I could have just put a mailto: link in there but that only work if you have an email program configured to launch when you click one of those links. And who does that? Everybody uses webmail. I also could have written it out all normal like but I don't want email harvesters(some of my best readers) to archive my email address and gum up my mailbox, thereby slowing the delivery of my pipebombs and boiled rabbits. If I need cheap Viagra, I know a guy. Also I came up with a snazzy and adorable name for the Kitty Profiles.
edit: Actually I just found a cool idea about how to make it look like a regular link but still thwarting the robots. Either way, it'll have to wait until I'm home.
I have aquired and implemented a new invention I am thinking of calling Electronic Mail whereby you may send Hate mail, pipebombs, boiled rabbits, and other festive gifts via the World Wide Web. I could have just put a mailto: link in there but that only work if you have an email program configured to launch when you click one of those links. And who does that? Everybody uses webmail. I also could have written it out all normal like but I don't want email harvesters(some of my best readers) to archive my email address and gum up my mailbox, thereby slowing the delivery of my pipebombs and boiled rabbits. If I need cheap Viagra, I know a guy. Also I came up with a snazzy and adorable name for the Kitty Profiles.
edit: Actually I just found a cool idea about how to make it look like a regular link but still thwarting the robots. Either way, it'll have to wait until I'm home.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Going to the Chapel, and We're Gonna, et cetera
So this week I'll have a much better excuse for not updating. I'm about to embark on a journey of Frodoian proportions. At last count the drive I have before me is 12 hours, but following my Tolkienian metaphor that'll just get me to the elven home of Imladris. People often talk about chapters of their lives and things opening closing and what not. It's a droll concept that I've never really subscribed to but at this point I feel like that it doesn't come close to describing how my life will irrevocably change before the weekend by half. It's as though my life up to this point were the happy travelings of a young and plucky burgler. Now, some sixty years later, I find myself inheritor of an artifact of unimaginable power and it is left to me to see the Necromancer brought down. Ok. That's the last Middle-earth metaphor, I promise.
The dark irony is, of course, that since I'll be torn from my debiliating addictions, I may actually manage to update this week. Only the Shadow and your hairdresser knows for sure.
-Kroy has gone offline
that jolly jumbuk that you've got in your tucker bag
So this week I'll have a much better excuse for not updating. I'm about to embark on a journey of Frodoian proportions. At last count the drive I have before me is 12 hours, but following my Tolkienian metaphor that'll just get me to the elven home of Imladris. People often talk about chapters of their lives and things opening closing and what not. It's a droll concept that I've never really subscribed to but at this point I feel like that it doesn't come close to describing how my life will irrevocably change before the weekend by half. It's as though my life up to this point were the happy travelings of a young and plucky burgler. Now, some sixty years later, I find myself inheritor of an artifact of unimaginable power and it is left to me to see the Necromancer brought down. Ok. That's the last Middle-earth metaphor, I promise.
The dark irony is, of course, that since I'll be torn from my debiliating addictions, I may actually manage to update this week. Only the Shadow and your hairdresser knows for sure.
-Kroy has gone offline
that jolly jumbuk that you've got in your tucker bag
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
The Conclusion of a Very Rigid Search
I know, I know, I'm not updating much lately. All I can say is, I've been otherwise occupied. I have pressing business with the Twilight's Hammer cult. I'm sure you understand.
In other news, I also just recently had the pleasure of viewing Everything is Illuminated which is an excellent film. It stars everyone's favorite hobbit (well, he wasn't my favorite hobbit but I got much love for Master Samwise). Anyway, unlike some other celebrities who can't seem to find work because of their involvement with certain hallowed franchises, Elijah Wood doesn't seem to be having any trouble maintaining a vibrant work schedule. This was an independent film that I saw trailers for several months ago during one of my scheduled romps through apple trailers. It looked good to me immediately but to my knowledge it never came to any theatres in this area. If it did, I missed it. At any rate, we rented it last night and I can recommend it unconditionally.
The basic story is about this weird little guy who wears his pants too high, this guy collects things. All kinds of crap and he's on a journey to find a woman who was, apparently very important to his Grandfather. It's essentially a road movie. But this is a road movie featuring a crotchety old blind driver, a modern day Prufrock, and a broken English speaking Ukrainian who is of premium comedy making. I don't want to spoil anything about the movie so that's all I'll say besides you should see this movie.
Dr. Jackhole rating: Four Grapes Up
-Kroy has left the server
slapped my dried up carcass
I know, I know, I'm not updating much lately. All I can say is, I've been otherwise occupied. I have pressing business with the Twilight's Hammer cult. I'm sure you understand.
In other news, I also just recently had the pleasure of viewing Everything is Illuminated which is an excellent film. It stars everyone's favorite hobbit (well, he wasn't my favorite hobbit but I got much love for Master Samwise). Anyway, unlike some other celebrities who can't seem to find work because of their involvement with certain hallowed franchises, Elijah Wood doesn't seem to be having any trouble maintaining a vibrant work schedule. This was an independent film that I saw trailers for several months ago during one of my scheduled romps through apple trailers. It looked good to me immediately but to my knowledge it never came to any theatres in this area. If it did, I missed it. At any rate, we rented it last night and I can recommend it unconditionally.
The basic story is about this weird little guy who wears his pants too high, this guy collects things. All kinds of crap and he's on a journey to find a woman who was, apparently very important to his Grandfather. It's essentially a road movie. But this is a road movie featuring a crotchety old blind driver, a modern day Prufrock, and a broken English speaking Ukrainian who is of premium comedy making. I don't want to spoil anything about the movie so that's all I'll say besides you should see this movie.
Dr. Jackhole rating: Four Grapes Up
-Kroy has left the server
slapped my dried up carcass
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
I Shot the Sheriff
Anyone who knows me probably knows me as someone who doesn't really get into a lot of New Age fads or trends. It's also well established fact that my favorite joke ever involves the incineration of other human beings. Would you like to hear it?
Recently a complication has arisen in this arena. Rebecca returned from her job training armed with a bevee of terrifying statistics regarding diet and how eating can kill you (like how eating a single butter scotch in your teens will give you advanced diabetes and make your balls rot off). As such we've made a few minor adjustments to our culinary regiment. My house is now running over with whole grain this and leafy green that. Luckily most of these things are food items closely related to things I liked before so the shift hasn't been too drastic. One thing that has started showing up in my cupboard is Granola. Filthy, stinking, hippie granola. What's worse, in a moment of weakness, I tried it. What's worse yet, in a moment of delicious revelation, I liked it. By itself it's fairly bland but when slaked with half a cup of sugar it's actually quite tasty. Even so, this is entirely too New Age of me. I've always subscribed to the Dennis Leary philosophy of diet. Wherein, red meat tastes like murder and murder tastes pretty fuckin' good. But I can already tell this vile amalgam of grains, raisins, and insect husks is working it's contemptible magic on me.
I've started listening to more Bob Marley for one. Which, in itself isn't' a bad thing, but I mean a lot of Bob Marley. Not only that, but the deeper meanings of his tunes have started affecting me in a visceral way. I tear up every time I hear "Get Up, Stand Up." While Rebecca is at work today I'll be replacing all our doors with bead curtains. I quit showering five days ago. I'm also seeking deeper truths in my search to find Jah. I just changed our wedding plans also, no longer are we getting married in a church. I found a field of poppies where we can stand barefoot and get hitched by a Hindi Yogi. We're getting Phish to play our reception. I'm legally changing my name to Cocoon because I'm a work in progress man. Someday I'll emerge from my mortal shell into something... eternal and groovy.
So next time you see me, I'll be the dreadlocked, patchouli-smelling degenerate.
-Kroy has gone offline
my mind can't clutch the feeling
Anyone who knows me probably knows me as someone who doesn't really get into a lot of New Age fads or trends. It's also well established fact that my favorite joke ever involves the incineration of other human beings. Would you like to hear it?
Q. What's yellow and red and looks good on a hippie?Isn't that great? Anyway, so while I appreciate, even adore, the music that arose from the counterculture movement. I feel very few social ties to it. People with dreadlocks categorically make me uncomfortable. The last thing I'd want would be to be associated with a group of patchouli-smelling degenerates.
A. Fire
Recently a complication has arisen in this arena. Rebecca returned from her job training armed with a bevee of terrifying statistics regarding diet and how eating can kill you (like how eating a single butter scotch in your teens will give you advanced diabetes and make your balls rot off). As such we've made a few minor adjustments to our culinary regiment. My house is now running over with whole grain this and leafy green that. Luckily most of these things are food items closely related to things I liked before so the shift hasn't been too drastic. One thing that has started showing up in my cupboard is Granola. Filthy, stinking, hippie granola. What's worse, in a moment of weakness, I tried it. What's worse yet, in a moment of delicious revelation, I liked it. By itself it's fairly bland but when slaked with half a cup of sugar it's actually quite tasty. Even so, this is entirely too New Age of me. I've always subscribed to the Dennis Leary philosophy of diet. Wherein, red meat tastes like murder and murder tastes pretty fuckin' good. But I can already tell this vile amalgam of grains, raisins, and insect husks is working it's contemptible magic on me.
I've started listening to more Bob Marley for one. Which, in itself isn't' a bad thing, but I mean a lot of Bob Marley. Not only that, but the deeper meanings of his tunes have started affecting me in a visceral way. I tear up every time I hear "Get Up, Stand Up." While Rebecca is at work today I'll be replacing all our doors with bead curtains. I quit showering five days ago. I'm also seeking deeper truths in my search to find Jah. I just changed our wedding plans also, no longer are we getting married in a church. I found a field of poppies where we can stand barefoot and get hitched by a Hindi Yogi. We're getting Phish to play our reception. I'm legally changing my name to Cocoon because I'm a work in progress man. Someday I'll emerge from my mortal shell into something... eternal and groovy.
So next time you see me, I'll be the dreadlocked, patchouli-smelling degenerate.
-Kroy has gone offline
my mind can't clutch the feeling
Monday, April 03, 2006
Whatcha Gonna Do When They Come for You
I haven't 'guffawed' at an internet video in a while so this definitely warrants sharing. Props to Greg in the desert southwest for wresting this gem from the bowels of the internet.
I haven't 'guffawed' at an internet video in a while so this definitely warrants sharing. Props to Greg in the desert southwest for wresting this gem from the bowels of the internet.
| Dungeons & Dragons Watch it now on StupidVideos! |
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Conversations
[During a lengthy discussion on the theological differences between the Catholic and Charismatic Protestant sects of Christianity.]
"So they pretty much believe in an non-uniform age of accountability at which point a person becomes responsible for their actions is therefore eli-."
"HOLY SHIT WE NEED TO BUY A LOTTERY TICKET!"
[During a lengthy discussion on the theological differences between the Catholic and Charismatic Protestant sects of Christianity.]
"So they pretty much believe in an non-uniform age of accountability at which point a person becomes responsible for their actions is therefore eli-."
"HOLY SHIT WE NEED TO BUY A LOTTERY TICKET!"
Wrapped Up Like a Duece
I've been thinking about more things I could do to The Hole to make it a little bit snazzier. One thing is that I think I'm going to start rip off Dooce's custom of creating mastheads for her website. There are two things we should clear up before I commit to this though. One, she like updates a new masthead every month or so, whereas I'll be updating it once per whever-I-feel-like-it. It could be four in one day, it might be once per liturgical season. The guessing is half the fun! Secondly, Her Dooceness was once paid to design websites and uses Photoshop like it's an extension of her mortal body. The images I'll be producing will likely be vile and blasphemous in the name of modern design. Pointing and laughing at my trivial attempts to create something purty will be the other half of the fun. What does everyone think of that? Discuss.
Just a note: you are encouraged to comment below but be warned that I'll end up doing whatever the hell I want anyway.
I've been thinking about more things I could do to The Hole to make it a little bit snazzier. One thing is that I think I'm going to start rip off Dooce's custom of creating mastheads for her website. There are two things we should clear up before I commit to this though. One, she like updates a new masthead every month or so, whereas I'll be updating it once per whever-I-feel-like-it. It could be four in one day, it might be once per liturgical season. The guessing is half the fun! Secondly, Her Dooceness was once paid to design websites and uses Photoshop like it's an extension of her mortal body. The images I'll be producing will likely be vile and blasphemous in the name of modern design. Pointing and laughing at my trivial attempts to create something purty will be the other half of the fun. What does everyone think of that? Discuss.
Just a note: you are encouraged to comment below but be warned that I'll end up doing whatever the hell I want anyway.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
The Family that Slays Together, Stays Together
In the same vein as the digitial gravity I discussed yesterday, there is another phenomena I have recently fallen prey to. I don't really have a name for it yet but I bet I will by the end of this post. So here's the story if for those of you joining us mid-season:
Many moons ago (nearly two years now) a friend and I got in on the beta of a video game called World of Warcraft. World of Warcraft (hereafter referred to as WoW) is what's called a Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game (hereafter refered to as MMORPG or just plain ol' MMO, sorry geeks love their acronyms). In layman's terms, it's a video game that you play with a shit load of other people from all over the globe all at the same time. Anyway, WoW is one of them and I got into the beta. Overnight, this game consumed my life. I played for hours a day until the beta phase of development closed (sometime around October) then purchased the game as soon as it was released to the public and continued on playing for almost a year more.
During this time Rebecca began playing as well and we played together. Given the distant nature of our early relationship (geographically, not emotionally), WoW served as a viable mechanism for us to communicate and "date". It was during this time that the above adage, that also serves as today's title, was coined. Long story... uh.. less long, Rebecca frequented a coffee shop where she would drink some kind of gross coffee drink and make use of their wireless network to play WoW with me. All the while, I would sit in my gross apartment and drink sweet tea and play WoW with her. She often got asked about what she was doing as passers-by could see what was going on her laptop was not your typical internet browsing or spread sheeting. If memory serves it was one of the coffee guys that coined the phrase. Anyway, for nearly a year and a half (counting the beta) I played this game on a daily basis, often for stretches that I'm ashamed to admit to the non-gaming public (hereafter refered to as Normies).
During this time some friends and I founded a guild in the game. We wanted to make sure we adhered to a high standard of excellence and not just allow any Kothar, Shemak, or Imadlesolersys into our guild. We had expectations for our current and prospective members that included, but was not limited to: a healthy appreciation for fart jokes, the ability to "be cool", and a love of foul language. I am happy to say, a year and a half later the guild we started is still going strong. It is also a matter of some pride on my part, and for the other founders, that even though the guild has been around for quite a while (as imaginary virtual coalitions go) it has remembered it's roots and is still full to bursting with fart-joking, potty-mouthed, cool-dudes-and-dudettes.
How can I possibly know this? You might ask since you remember that I quit playing some months ago. Well a few reasons, a) there's the board that I linked earlier, I stayed on it and kept in touch with several of the members even after my departure, 2) without their knowledge I planted several sleeper agents within the ranks of the guild ready to go positively batshit on my whim, and D) I started playing again a couple of weeks ago.
After Rebecca and I quit we were pretty good for a long time about overcoming our addiction. I would only occasionally check the official WoW website, which, at the height of my sickness, had been a daily ritual for months on end. Then, as the months, passed we started developing noticable ticks and twitches. We did our best not to talk about it for a long time, but the cause was obvious. We also kept in contact with a good buddy, Jared (who assured me he was going to set up a blog), who had stayed in the game and kept us rapt with news about all the cool things we were missing. Jared also constantly would tempt us to come back like a stranger with candy. Naughty, naughty candy. So I guess one name for this unnamable phenomena that sucked me back into the game could be, Peer Pressure.
I don't have as much time to play as I used to but I'm hoping to get some quality over quantity time in with the game on this second go-round. If things don't go as planned, I've still got plan Q) with finger poised directly over the batshit button.
-Kroy has gone offline
count the time in quartertones to ten
In the same vein as the digitial gravity I discussed yesterday, there is another phenomena I have recently fallen prey to. I don't really have a name for it yet but I bet I will by the end of this post. So here's the story if for those of you joining us mid-season:
Many moons ago (nearly two years now) a friend and I got in on the beta of a video game called World of Warcraft. World of Warcraft (hereafter referred to as WoW) is what's called a Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game (hereafter refered to as MMORPG or just plain ol' MMO, sorry geeks love their acronyms). In layman's terms, it's a video game that you play with a shit load of other people from all over the globe all at the same time. Anyway, WoW is one of them and I got into the beta. Overnight, this game consumed my life. I played for hours a day until the beta phase of development closed (sometime around October) then purchased the game as soon as it was released to the public and continued on playing for almost a year more.
During this time Rebecca began playing as well and we played together. Given the distant nature of our early relationship (geographically, not emotionally), WoW served as a viable mechanism for us to communicate and "date". It was during this time that the above adage, that also serves as today's title, was coined. Long story... uh.. less long, Rebecca frequented a coffee shop where she would drink some kind of gross coffee drink and make use of their wireless network to play WoW with me. All the while, I would sit in my gross apartment and drink sweet tea and play WoW with her. She often got asked about what she was doing as passers-by could see what was going on her laptop was not your typical internet browsing or spread sheeting. If memory serves it was one of the coffee guys that coined the phrase. Anyway, for nearly a year and a half (counting the beta) I played this game on a daily basis, often for stretches that I'm ashamed to admit to the non-gaming public (hereafter refered to as Normies).
During this time some friends and I founded a guild in the game. We wanted to make sure we adhered to a high standard of excellence and not just allow any Kothar, Shemak, or Imadlesolersys into our guild. We had expectations for our current and prospective members that included, but was not limited to: a healthy appreciation for fart jokes, the ability to "be cool", and a love of foul language. I am happy to say, a year and a half later the guild we started is still going strong. It is also a matter of some pride on my part, and for the other founders, that even though the guild has been around for quite a while (as imaginary virtual coalitions go) it has remembered it's roots and is still full to bursting with fart-joking, potty-mouthed, cool-dudes-and-dudettes.
How can I possibly know this? You might ask since you remember that I quit playing some months ago. Well a few reasons, a) there's the board that I linked earlier, I stayed on it and kept in touch with several of the members even after my departure, 2) without their knowledge I planted several sleeper agents within the ranks of the guild ready to go positively batshit on my whim, and D) I started playing again a couple of weeks ago.
After Rebecca and I quit we were pretty good for a long time about overcoming our addiction. I would only occasionally check the official WoW website, which, at the height of my sickness, had been a daily ritual for months on end. Then, as the months, passed we started developing noticable ticks and twitches. We did our best not to talk about it for a long time, but the cause was obvious. We also kept in contact with a good buddy, Jared (who assured me he was going to set up a blog), who had stayed in the game and kept us rapt with news about all the cool things we were missing. Jared also constantly would tempt us to come back like a stranger with candy. Naughty, naughty candy. So I guess one name for this unnamable phenomena that sucked me back into the game could be, Peer Pressure.
I don't have as much time to play as I used to but I'm hoping to get some quality over quantity time in with the game on this second go-round. If things don't go as planned, I've still got plan Q) with finger poised directly over the batshit button.
-Kroy has gone offline
count the time in quartertones to ten
Monday, March 27, 2006
Stick It Up Your Ass Newton
I want to alert you to a previously undocumented phenomenea. You might call this a discovery of sorts. I've never really discovered anything. Unless you count the kinds of things you 'discover' when you clean out your fridge after a long winter. I actually discovered some things over the last two weeks while I was "bachin' it" while Rebecca was out of town for her new job training. The tests and trials of that period are another entry altogether. This one is about my discovery. I'm not much of a scientist and I don't think this is necessarily verifiable but it is repeatable. I'm calling it Digital Gravity, or maybe Digrivity. Anyway, it's this thing that happens to me when I'm in the house. The internet seems to exert some kind of eldritch force on my person, drawing me to it always. I've noticed that if I don't stay on task 100% of the time, I will drift inexorably toward the computer and open a brower to the internets.
This can happen even if I'm like getting ready to go somewhere and am running a few minutes late. I can't tell you how many times I've been brushing my teeth in front of the bathroom mirror, letting my mind wander harmlessly then suddenly finding myself in front of my computer typing in any number of URLs I visit regularly. I shake out of my reverie and cuss a blue streak telling myself I don't have time for that sort of thing I have to get going. Several minutes later as I'm surfing ebay, my head explodes.
I suspect that others may be similarly affected by the television, knitting, and ouija boards. All I know is that I'm helpless against it and that it is not a viable excuse for being late someplace. "Sorry I'm running a few minutes late, the internet siezed my mind." I'm starting to think the nerds that go about with aluminum foil in their back pockets may be on to something.
Anybody else out there experience anything like this?
-Kroy has gone offline
crashed a mother and son cold dead
I want to alert you to a previously undocumented phenomenea. You might call this a discovery of sorts. I've never really discovered anything. Unless you count the kinds of things you 'discover' when you clean out your fridge after a long winter. I actually discovered some things over the last two weeks while I was "bachin' it" while Rebecca was out of town for her new job training. The tests and trials of that period are another entry altogether. This one is about my discovery. I'm not much of a scientist and I don't think this is necessarily verifiable but it is repeatable. I'm calling it Digital Gravity, or maybe Digrivity. Anyway, it's this thing that happens to me when I'm in the house. The internet seems to exert some kind of eldritch force on my person, drawing me to it always. I've noticed that if I don't stay on task 100% of the time, I will drift inexorably toward the computer and open a brower to the internets.
This can happen even if I'm like getting ready to go somewhere and am running a few minutes late. I can't tell you how many times I've been brushing my teeth in front of the bathroom mirror, letting my mind wander harmlessly then suddenly finding myself in front of my computer typing in any number of URLs I visit regularly. I shake out of my reverie and cuss a blue streak telling myself I don't have time for that sort of thing I have to get going. Several minutes later as I'm surfing ebay, my head explodes.
I suspect that others may be similarly affected by the television, knitting, and ouija boards. All I know is that I'm helpless against it and that it is not a viable excuse for being late someplace. "Sorry I'm running a few minutes late, the internet siezed my mind." I'm starting to think the nerds that go about with aluminum foil in their back pockets may be on to something.
Anybody else out there experience anything like this?
-Kroy has gone offline
crashed a mother and son cold dead
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Afternoon Quicky
I've just found something that will likely be a source of random entertainment for a really long time. It's called Bash.org. I'll let you work out the URL on your own. It's a collection of humerous IM conversations.
Here are a couple of favorites so far.
I've just found something that will likely be a source of random entertainment for a really long time. It's called Bash.org. I'll let you work out the URL on your own. It's a collection of humerous IM conversations.
Here are a couple of favorites so far.
#628906 (593)
#628022 +(568)
i broke my leg masturbating is evil
<[Slaryn> O_O I hope to god those two incidents weren't relatedtohayer: My windows machine crashes scarily
tohayer: Whatever audio is playing, slows down
tohayer: Like when Dave is disconnecting Hal's memory
tohayer: "Ted... Ted... why are you opening the task manager. You're scaring me, Ted"
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Give Me Sight Beyond Sight
I am happy to report that my acquisition of the aforementioned entertainment went off without a hitch and my life is now bursting with samurais named Jack.
In other news, if you watched the video I posted the other day you were likely as dumbstruck as I was the first time I watched it. I've since watched it probably three or four times since as I've shown it to others. I'm still fairly stunned by it. I feel a naughty tingle each time it pulls out further and further into space. If you're interested in knowing a little more about it there is also this video, a fully rendered version of the talk from which all that gameplay footage came originally given by Will Wright - the guy responsible for The Sims. Between each segment is about a ten minute little blurb about how they're doing all those interesting things in this game and what drove them to this end in the first place.
Even in the shorter version of the gameplay footage Will uses the buzz word "procedural" many times. I'm by no means an expert on this stuff but that's never stopped me from handing out ill-informed opinions. As I understand it, before the advent of the CD-ROM games were, for the most part, made to be as small as possible. All of the millions of lines of code, graphics, and behaviors had to squeezed onto 3.5" floppy discs. The use of algorithms was popular in order to get the maximum amount of compression. Again, I'm no math whiz but basically what that means is they had they used the player's computer to run the algorithms or formulae on the discs to get the end product. That way, they minimized the need for raw data space. Once CD-ROMs hit, then they had all this space on a disc and I game design shifted more toward filling up data than these algorithms. That's the way things have been for several years now. With this game, Spore, Maxis has gone back to this algorithmic structure for creating the world that the player occupies. So everything in the gameplay trailer you saw, except for the evolved creature and the city he built, was generated by the computer on the fly, so to speak.
This kind of thinking may be old hat in the computing world but it confounds my dumb cracker mind. I mean, I understand it on a conceptual level, about the same way that I understand, conceptually, what a black hole is. If they tell me they can generate that entire solar system, ye even a galaxy, I'll just believe them on and go on breeding my race of Thundercats™™.
What I'm really interested in, is this idea that you pull content from other people's computers. They plan to have a master database that each game synchs to and when that synching occurs they'll suck up all the things you've created in your game and re-distribute it back out to the world as random encounters. I'm really curious if you can be selective about who's content you pull down. Say I want a planet where my Thundercats™™ can live caught in an eternal struggle with a friend of mine's warlike clan of My Little Ponies™™. I would like the option to choose a race or tribe that can be my primary aggressor.
-Kroy has gone offline
mean and strong like fear
I am happy to report that my acquisition of the aforementioned entertainment went off without a hitch and my life is now bursting with samurais named Jack.
In other news, if you watched the video I posted the other day you were likely as dumbstruck as I was the first time I watched it. I've since watched it probably three or four times since as I've shown it to others. I'm still fairly stunned by it. I feel a naughty tingle each time it pulls out further and further into space. If you're interested in knowing a little more about it there is also this video, a fully rendered version of the talk from which all that gameplay footage came originally given by Will Wright - the guy responsible for The Sims. Between each segment is about a ten minute little blurb about how they're doing all those interesting things in this game and what drove them to this end in the first place.
Even in the shorter version of the gameplay footage Will uses the buzz word "procedural" many times. I'm by no means an expert on this stuff but that's never stopped me from handing out ill-informed opinions. As I understand it, before the advent of the CD-ROM games were, for the most part, made to be as small as possible. All of the millions of lines of code, graphics, and behaviors had to squeezed onto 3.5" floppy discs. The use of algorithms was popular in order to get the maximum amount of compression. Again, I'm no math whiz but basically what that means is they had they used the player's computer to run the algorithms or formulae on the discs to get the end product. That way, they minimized the need for raw data space. Once CD-ROMs hit, then they had all this space on a disc and I game design shifted more toward filling up data than these algorithms. That's the way things have been for several years now. With this game, Spore, Maxis has gone back to this algorithmic structure for creating the world that the player occupies. So everything in the gameplay trailer you saw, except for the evolved creature and the city he built, was generated by the computer on the fly, so to speak.
This kind of thinking may be old hat in the computing world but it confounds my dumb cracker mind. I mean, I understand it on a conceptual level, about the same way that I understand, conceptually, what a black hole is. If they tell me they can generate that entire solar system, ye even a galaxy, I'll just believe them on and go on breeding my race of Thundercats™™.
What I'm really interested in, is this idea that you pull content from other people's computers. They plan to have a master database that each game synchs to and when that synching occurs they'll suck up all the things you've created in your game and re-distribute it back out to the world as random encounters. I'm really curious if you can be selective about who's content you pull down. Say I want a planet where my Thundercats™™ can live caught in an eternal struggle with a friend of mine's warlike clan of My Little Ponies™™. I would like the option to choose a race or tribe that can be my primary aggressor.
-Kroy has gone offline
mean and strong like fear
You've Probably Got Better Things to Do Anyway
Blogger has been swallowing it's own tongue for a few days and I haven't been able to update. It seems to be working now so I'll probably put something up of substance this evening. Your time is likely better spent elsewhere anyway. Shouldn't you be reading a book, calling your mama, or catching up with an old friend? Whatever. We both know you're just going to sit on your big ass and watch American Idol.
Blogger has been swallowing it's own tongue for a few days and I haven't been able to update. It seems to be working now so I'll probably put something up of substance this evening. Your time is likely better spent elsewhere anyway. Shouldn't you be reading a book, calling your mama, or catching up with an old friend? Whatever. We both know you're just going to sit on your big ass and watch American Idol.
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