Movin' on Up

I've moved my blog from here to Vox. It's kind of like all the good things about all the blogging sites out there were absorbed into one formidable package. I tried for nearly a year to stave off the urge to move. I am beaten. The good news: the social networking aspect makes me a lot more manic about posting and updating. Need proof? So for all of you people who don't read my blog now, you can come to Vox and not read it there either. It'll be awesome.

Sad Kitty

I give you: Cat in Cast.

Hello Goodbye

As previously promised I will have pictures of my stupid cat in his stupid stupid cast. I'm going away for the weekend though. I'll be visiting family in my ancestral homeland. I may find time to post while there (between such extensive stereotypical activities as biting my toenails and eating Moonpies™ dipped in Jack Daniels™). Until then, I leave you with Techno Cat. I wish to thank whoever made this. It is awesome. (Note: make sure your sound is on.)

Honestly...

Reese's Pieces cereal? Whoever came up with this, they deserve one of them Nobel Piecy Prizes.

I Can't Make This Stuff Up

Has there ever been a better porn name than Dick Pound?

How about a porno called "The Righteous Fury of Dick Pound"?

On Second Thought...

I'll let my wife tell you about it:

Hijacked from rebar.vox.com:

I have a cat. His name is Scratch Fury: Destroyer of Worlds. He is adorable, and looks like this:

ScratchFury

If you couldn't tell from the picture, Scratch Fury is a little on the pudgy side. Well, okay, he weighs 17 lbs. But in his defense (and mine!!), he really does have a large kitty frame. With a little extra pudge. He's only a year old, so we'll call it baby fat.

So anyway, Scratch Fury had a urinary tract infection about a month or so ago, and my dear husband took him into the vet and promptly got an ass-raping about how we need to feed Scratch Fury less otherwise we will be voted the Absoute Worst Kitty Parents EVA. So, we've been feeding him less, which has gone over about as well as a sack of dead toads.

Well, on Monday night - the night before my big presentation, for those of you keeping score! - Scratch Fury was full of woe because he could not move the bass amp which had been placed in front of the closet which contains the Rubbermaid bin holding his food. You know, the closet and bin which he has learned to open in order to circumvent our attempts to help him gain a more svelte physique. So Scratch Fury is full of woe, and being the pitiful emo kitty that he is, he decided to bail off of the top shelf of our closet. And land on his elbow. Which he dislocated.

Now, for those of you who have never had a dislocated appendage, it is apparently very painful. Which I gathered from the noises erupting from our dear Mr. Fury. Who, by the way, could not have dislocated his elbow during business hours when normal vet clinics are open, oh, no! The only appropriate time to dislocate an elbow as after 11:30 PM, when we must make a run to the emergency vet clinic, which charges $75 dollars to walk in the door. Where we learn that the highly experienced emergency vet has never seen a cat with a dislocated elbow, much less fixed one before, because wouldn't you know it? it's a RARE CAT INJURY! So Scratch Fury, who by this time is realizing that suicide is never the answer, needs to visit an orthopedic specialist.

So we thank Dr. Emergency Vet and pay her $220 for her time and lack of ability to fix our cat, and Kroy takes Scratch to Dr. Dislocation the next morning. Luckily, Dr. Dislocation is able to fix Scratch, for the bargain price of $740! What a deal! Maybe we should take all of our kitties in to be adjusted!!

Scratch, with his newly fixed elbow, is put into a cast which covers his chest, shoulder, and the entire length of his forearm. Which he is really not thrilled about. The only good part of the deal is that Scratch gets to take a morphine derivative for pain, which at this point, is starting to sound really good to Mommy and Daddy who have now shelled out the better part of a G for our adorable Destroyer of Worlds.

Scratch gets to keep his cast for about a month, and Kroy and I are learning what having a newborn must be like. Scratch is only really calm when he is being held, and has to be hand fed, hand watered, taken to and held up to use the litterbox, wiped afterwards, oh, and watched like a hawk to make sure he doesn't figure out a way to escape his cast. We haven't had much sleep the last couple of nights, and he absolutely can't be left home alone. Our only solace is that while parents of newborns have to deal with this sort of lifestyle for about two decades, we should be home free in another three weeks!!

So that's the latest! I'll post a picture of Scratch with his beautiful blue cast and face full of woe as soon as I get around to it. He really is pathetic.

I plan on taking some pictures of Scratch in his big humiliating blue cast and posting them. We're getting everyone that drops by to sign it.

End Broadcast Day.

The Room Must Listen to Me

Remind me to tell you about the time my cat luxated his Ulna. And thereafter had to be cared for like a newborn.

Maybe I Used Too Many Monkeys

Up until recently I was under the impression that my nerd songs were pretty good.







The videos are produced by a fan. The real point of this whole thing was to turn you on to Jonathan Coulton. He's quite the talent.