Navigation in the Digital Age

I'm not sure if it was inborn or came with years of playing video games and roleplaying but somewhere along the way I got really good with maps. For a long time I confused this with being a good sense of direction. Let me assure you, they are not the same thing. If I have a detailed and physical map of whatever journey I am about to undertake, I will arrive there without any problems or hitches. If I do not, I may never be seen again. When I lived in Boston (a notoriously signless city), if I had to drive somewhere I would always take the estimated travel time and double it. This was to give me ample to drive somewhere which was not the place I had intended to go, curse the fickle gods, get lost, have a transcendental experience, and thus, become closer to nature, and eventually accidentally find my way to wherever I was going and only be about 10 or 15 minutes late. As I would pull into my destination I would just sigh to myself and say, "this is just the way of all things."

I'm also ok if I'm provided with a deluge of information (which, arguably, you could say is all a map does). I'm generally ok when driving from one large area of the country to another via the interstate. If you need to get from Kansas City to Seattle, I'm your man. If you need to get downtown from the office, the trip with me is tantamount to clogging up the toilet at your new girlfriend's parent's house on your first meeting.

I think my handy usage of maps came from endless video game playing where (more often than not) you (the player) are supplied with some kind of miniature real time map that shows your position, orientation, and local geography. See the following:

As you can see (you may click for a larger view) there is a clear and set out relationship between where you are, where you're headed, and the best way to get there. I never get lost in video games, you can ask anybody. They'll fucking tell you, "Kroy? Hellz no he don't get lost in no video games." I mean I don't know what more evidence you need other than that.

Now I don't know if you've heard this or not but I'm going to let you in on a little secret. It's not cool to be a member of the male population who easily loses their way. It's very nearly the opposite of manly to not be able to navigate from one place to another. It's far worse to have to accept defeat and seek outside assistance in the finding of your destination. As you can imagine, this leaves me in a great pickle.

I think the utopian answer to my enigma is found in the warm bosom of personal and vehicular GPS. A friend relayed to me an experience he had with one such unit mounted in a rental car. The car could be told where you needed to 'git'. Apparently, it already knew where you were. Beyond that it is merely a process of riding the illuminated swells into port. This particular unit could measure, with staggering precision, your distance between your current location and your nearest change of course and would provide gentle reminders, like a responsible friend. With these GPS units there is also the added benefit of participating in a hobby known as Geocaching. A pastime dedicated to going places and finding things.

I envision a perfect world where, when I set out to a new and uncharted locale for some dark purpose, I simply reach down and engage my in-life minimap and run, ski, or drive on my way without the quiet murmuring of sacred prayers to ancient gods for safe passage.

-Kroy has gone offline


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